my feelings

earthquake just happened about half an hour ago.
that was the second time i felt the earthquake.
may god bless everyone!
hmmm im starting to wonder if 21st dec is true.
someone just told me that this year gonna be my last year if it is true.
but i don't care,everyone will die one day.
there is nothing to be worried about.
i know i am abnormal to have that thinking.
but i am not afraid to die.
what i am truly afraid is
seeing my family members suffering(esp my mum)
i was very steady walking down to the safe area while
seeing my neighbours all running down liked mad.
why people so scared of dying.idk.
it is normal to be afraid of dead i know.
i think i am just the abnormal one.

reading back all the conversations and your line status.
you really deserve someone better.
you shouldn't be suffering right now.
you shouldnt have known me and coupled with me.
i have made you suffered for 4years.
4years?nobody can stand all the pains.
why?why after everything i have done you.
you still can be here waiting for me...
i am afraid i am really afraid.
i couldn't bear to hurt you anymore.
everytime i tried to accept you and be nice tp you.
he just popped up in my mind.everytime...
how i can accept you when i still have feelings for him?
people keep asking me to move on and forget abt him.
but i can't.i want to but i just can't do it.i can't.
you deserve a better and happier life without me :')